## 딥러닝: "신경망, 인공 신경망, 딥러닝의 발전"

딥러닝은 머신러닝의 한 분야로, 신경망을 통해 복잡한 패턴과 추상적인 정보를 학습하는 기술입니다. 이 기술은 현대 기술과 사회에 놀라운 변화를 가져오고 있습니다.

### 1. 딥러닝의 원리와 주요 구성 요소

#### 1.1 신경망(Neural Networks)
딥러닝은 인공 신경망을 기반으로 합니다. 이 신경망은 인간의 뇌 구조에서 영감을 받아 만들어진 모델로, 입력층, 은닉층, 출력층으로 이루어져 있습니다. 각 층은 뉴런(노드)으로 구성되어 있고, 이 뉴런들은 가중치와 활성화 함수를 통해 정보를 처리합니다.

#### 1.2 인공 신경망의 학습
딥러닝 모델은 데이터를 통해 학습됩니다. 학습 과정에서는 입력 데이터와 정답 데이터를 모델에 제공하고, 모델은 예측 결과와 실제 결과 간의 오차를 최소화하도록 가중치를 조절하며 학습합니다. 이러한 과정을 통해 모델은 패턴을 학습하고 예측 능력을 향상시킵니다.

### 2. 딥러닝이 일으키는 혁신과 현대 기술의 변화

#### 2.1 복잡한 문제 해결
딥러닝은 복잡한 문제에 대한 효과적인 해결책을 제공합니다. 음성 인식, 이미지 분류, 언어 번역 등 다양한 분야에서 놀라운 성과를 보여주며 기존 기술의 한계를 뛰어넘고 있습니다.

#### 2.2 자율 주행 자동차와의 결합
자율 주행 자동차 분야에서는 딥러닝이 활용되어 환경 인식, 도로 상황 판단 등에 대한 기술적 도전에 대응하고 있습니다. 이로써 운전 경험과 차량의 안전성이 향상되고 있습니다.

#### 2.3 의료 분야의 혁신
의료 분야에서는 딥러닝을 통해 의료 영상의 정확한 분석이 가능해지면서 질병 진단과 치료에 있어서 새로운 가능성이 열리고 있습니다. 이는 의료 기술의 혁신과 환자 치료에 큰 도움을 주고 있습니다.

#### 2.4 현대 산업의 생산성 향상
제조업 분야에서는 딥러닝을 통한 자동화 및 예측 기술이 적용되어 생산성을 향상시키고 불량률을 줄이는 데 기여하고 있습니다.

딥러닝은 이러한 혁신과 함께 빠르게 진화하고 있으며, 미래에는 더욱 다양한 분야에서의 응용이 기대됩니다. 그러나 동시에 윤리적인 고민과 개인 정보 보호에 대한 책임도 함께 고려되어야 합니다. 이 모든 변화와 도전에 대한 이해와 관심이 필요한 시대입니다. 딥러닝은 우리의 미래를 크게 바꿀 기술 중 하나로 자리매김하고 있습니다.

## 머신러닝 알고리즘: 데이터의 비밀을 푸는 마법

머신러닝은 다양한 알고리즘을 활용하여 데이터에서 의미 있는 정보를 추출하고 예측하는 기술을 포함합니다. 이번 글에서는 주요 머신러닝 알고리즘인 회귀(Regression), 분류(Classification), 그리고 군집(Clustering)에 대해 알아보고, 각 알고리즘의 목적과 작동 원리를 살펴보겠습니다.

### 1. 회귀(Regression) 알고리즘

목적: 회귀 알고리즘은 입력 데이터와 출력 값을 기반으로 하여 변수들 간의 관계를 모델링하고 예측합니다. 즉, 연속형 결과 값을 예측하는 데 사용됩니다.

작동 원리: 주어진 입력 변수들과 그에 따른 출력 변수 간의 통계적 관계를 모델링하여 최적의 예측선을 찾습니다. 이 예측선을 통해 새로운 입력 값이 주어졌을 때 출력 값을 예측할 수 있습니다.

활용 예시: 주택 가격 예측, 매출 예측, 주가 예측 등.

### 2. 분류(Classification) 알고리즘

목적: 분류 알고리즘은 주어진 데이터를 여러 범주 중 하나로 분류하는 데 사용됩니다. 이는 이산형 결과 값을 예측하는 데에 적합합니다.

작동 원리: 알고리즘은 입력 데이터를 기반으로 각 범주에 속할 확률을 계산하고, 최종적으로 가장 높은 확률을 갖는 범주로 분류합니다. 일반적으로는 훈련 데이터로 모델을 학습시켜 새로운 데이터를 분류합니다.

활용 예시: 이메일 스팸 필터링, 질병 진단, 고객 세분화 등.

### 3. 군집(Clustering) 알고리즘

목적: 군집 알고리즘은 비슷한 특성을 갖는 데이터들을 그룹으로 묶는 데 사용됩니다. 이는 유사한 패턴을 갖는 데이터를 식별하는 데에 유용합니다.

작동 원리: 알고리즘은 데이터 간의 거리나 유사성을 측정하여 클러스터를 형성합니다. 각 클러스터는 내부의 데이터가 서로 유사하고 외부의 데이터와는 다르게 구성됩니다.

활용 예시: 고객 세그멘테이션, 이미지 분할, 뉴스 그룹 분류 등.

### 실제 활용 사례

1. 회귀: 주택 가격 예측
   - 목적:주어진 주택의 특징을 기반으로 가격을 예측합니다.
   - 실제 활용: 집 크기, 위치, 시설 등을 고려하여 주택 시장에서 정확한 가격을 예측합니다.

2. 분류: 스팸 메일 필터링
   - 목적: 이메일이 스팸인지 아닌지를 자동으로 분류합니다.
   - 실제 활용: 이메일의 제목, 내용, 보낸이 등을 기반으로 스팸 여부를 판단하여 사용자의 메일함을 정리합니다.

3. 군집: 고객 세분화
   - 목적: 유사한 구매 패턴을 가진 고객들을 그룹으로 묶어 세분화합니다.
   - 실제 활용:고객의 구매 이력, 취향,

 거주지 등을 고려하여 타겟 마케팅 전략을 수립합니다.

이처럼 회귀, 분류, 군집 알고리즘은 각각 다른 목적을 가지고 있으며, 현실 세계에서는 이러한 알고리즘들이 조합되어 다양한 문제에 대한 솔루션을 제공합니다. 다음 글에서는 각 알고리즘의 세부적인 동작과 최신 응용 사례에 대해 자세히 살펴보겠습니다.

## 머신러닝의 주요 유형: 지도학습, 비지도학습, 강화학습

머신러닝은 크게 지도학습(Supervised Learning), 비지도학습(Unsupervised Learning), 그리고 강화학습(Reinforcement Learning)의 세 가지 주요 유형으로 나뉩니다. 각각의 유형은 고유한 특징을 갖고 있으며, 다양한 응용 분야에서 중요한 역할을 하고 있습니다.

### 1. 지도학습 (Supervised Learning)

특징 및 동작 원리:

지도학습은 입력 데이터와 해당 데이터에 대한 정답인 레이블(Label)이 주어진 상태에서 모델을 훈련시키는 방식입니다. 모델은 주어진 입력과 정답 간의 관계를 학습하고, 새로운 입력이 주어질 때 정확한 출력을 예측합니다.

사용 사례 예시:

- 이미지 분류: 손글씨 숫자를 인식하거나 동물의 종을 분류하는 등의 작업에서 활용됩니다.

- 언어 번역: 문장을 다른 언어로 번역하는 모델을 훈련시킬 때 지도학습이 사용됩니다.

현대 기술에서의 중요성:

지도학습은 많은 분야에서 성공적으로 적용되어 왔습니다. 의료 진단, 언어 처리, 이미지 인식 등 다양한 곳에서 사용되며, 이는 데이터의 정확한 레이블링이 가능한 경우에 효과적으로 적용될 수 있기 때문입니다.

### 2. 비지도학습 (Unsupervised Learning)

특징 및 동작 원리:

비지도학습은 레이블이 없는 데이터를 사용하여 모델을 훈련시키는 방식입니다. 모델은 데이터 간의 패턴이나 구조를 스스로 학습하고, 비슷한 특성을 갖는 데이터를 군집화하거나 차원을 축소합니다.

사용 사례 예시:

- 군집화(Clustering): 유사한 특성을 갖는 데이터를 그룹화하여 군집을 형성하는 작업에 사용됩니다.

- 차원 축소(Dimensionality Reduction): 데이터의 특성을 줄여 계산 복잡성을 낮추는데 활용됩니다.

현대 기술에서의 중요성:

비지도학습은 데이터의 특성을 더 깊게 이해하고, 레이블이 부족한 데이터에서 유용한 정보를 추출하는 데 활용됩니다. 주로 데이터의 구조를 파악하고 의미 있는 패턴을 찾는 데 사용되어, 예측과 분류 외에도 데이터의 탐색적 분석에 중요한 역할을 합니다.

### 3. 강화학습 (Reinforcement Learning)

특징 및 동작 원리:

강화학습은 에이전트(Agent)가 환경과 상호작용하며, 어떤 행동을 취할지 학습하는 방식입니다. 에이전트는 환경으로부터 피드백을 받아 보상을 최대화하도록 학습하며, 시행착오를 통해 높은 성능을 달성합니다.

사용 사례 예시:

- 게임 AI: 알파고와 같은 바둑이나 체스에서 사용되는 AI는 강화학습의 한 예입니다.

- 자율 주행 자동차: 차량은 환경에서 다양한 상황에 대처하고 최적의 경로를 학습합니다.

현대 기술에서의 중요성:

강화학습은 복잡한 의사 결정 과정과 상호작용이 필요한 환경에서 효과적으로 적용됩니다. 높은 자율성을 갖는 시스템을 구현하고, 최적의 전략을 학습하는 데 주로 사용되고 있습니다.

이러한 머신러닝의 주요 유형은 각자의 특징과 장점을 가지고 있으며, 다양한 응용 분야에서 현대 기술을 이끌고 있습니다. 각 유형은 데이터와 과제의 특성에 따라 선택되어야 하며, 이를 통해 최적의 성능을 얻을 수 있습니다. 앞으로도 머신러닝의 다양한 측면을 탐험하며 더 많은 지식을 쌓아보도록 합시다.

## 머신러닝과 인공지능: 현대 기술의 중심축

인공지능(AI)과 머신러닝(ML)이라는 용어들은 현대 기술 분야에서 빠질 수 없는 키 워드로 떠오르고 있습니다. 이들은 우리의 삶을 혁신하고, 다양한 산업 분야에서 놀라운 변화를 일으키고 있습니다. 그럼에도 불구하고, 이 용어들은 여전히 많은 이들에게는 추상적이고 낯설게 느껴질 수 있습니다. 따라서, 이번 글에서는 머신러닝과 인공지능의 기본 개념을 살펴보고, 현실 세계에서 어떻게 활용되고 있는지 알아보겠습니다.

### 머신러닝: 기계가 학습하는 원리

머신러닝은 컴퓨터 시스템이 데이터에서 학습하고, 패턴을 인식하며, 결정을 내릴 수 있는 능력을 갖추는 분야를 의미합니다. 기본적으로, 머신러닝은 명시적인 프로그래밍 없이도 컴퓨터가 자동으로 학습하고 발전할 수 있도록 하는 기술입니다. 이를 가능하게 하는 핵심은 바로 **데이터**와 **알고리즘**의 조합입니다.

### 인공지능: 기계로 구현된 지능

인공지능은 인간의 학습과 추론, 문제 해결 능력을 기계에 구현하는 기술을 나타냅니다. 즉, 인공적으로 만들어진 시스템이 환경에 대한 지능적인 행동을 보이는 것을 의미합니다. 이러한 시스템은 머신러닝을 기반으로 하며, 예측, 분류, 패턴 인식 등의 작업을 수행할 수 있습니다.

### 머신러닝과 인공지능의 활용 예시

1. 음성 비서 및 인식 기술:
   - 개념 소개: 인공지능은 음성 비서를 통해 우리의 음성을 이해하고, 명령을 수행할 수 있습니다.
   - 현실 세계 예시: 음성 비서를 통해 일정 관리, 날씨 예보, 음악 재생 등의 작업을 수행하는 스마트 기기들.

2. 이미지 인식 기술:
   - 개념 소개: 머신러닝은 이미지에서 객체를 인식하고 분류하는 능력을 향상시킵니다.
   - 현실 세계 예시: 사진 앱의 얼굴 인식, 자동차의 자율 주행 기술에서의 활용.

3. 추천 알고리즘:
   - 개념 소개: 머신러닝은 사용자의 행동과 선호도를 학습하여 상품이나 콘텐츠를 추천합니다.
   - 현실 세계 예시: 온라인 쇼핑 사이트의 상품 추천, 스트리밍 서비스의 영화 및 음악 추천.

4. 의료 진단 및 예측:
   - 개념 소개: 인공지능은 의료 영상을 분석하여 질병을 진단하고 환자의 건강 상태를 예측할 수 있습니다.
   - 현실 세계 예시: 암 진단을 위한 영상 분석, 심장 질환의 조기 진단.

5. 금융 예측과 거래 분석:
   - 개념 소개: 머신러닝은 금융 시장 동향을 예측하고 거래 패턴을 분석하는 데 활용됩니다.
   - 현실 세계 예시: 주가 예측, 사기 탐지를 위한 신용 카드 거래 분석.

이러한 예시들은 머신러닝과 인공지능이 어떻게 우리의 일상 생활과 다양한 산업 분야에 녹아들어 있으며, 어떻게 기술적인 원리를 기반으로 동작하는지를 보여줍니다. 앞으로의 글에서는 더욱 심화된 내용과 다양한 응용 분야에 대해 알아보겠습니다. 계속해서 기술의 흥미로운 세계로 함께 여행해봐요!

겨울이 되서 그런지 요즘 머리가 부분적으로 가려운 부분이 생겨서 어떤 문제가 있는지 지인에게도 물어보고 검색도 해봤습니다. 

두피 어던 부분이 따갑거나 바늘로 콕콕 찌르는 기분이 들거나 가려워서 손톱으로 꾹 한 번 눌러줘야 가려운 것이 조금 해결되는 분들! 

머리가 가려운 일반적인 이유는

1. 두피에 수분이나 영양이 부족! 

2. 햇빛 등에 자극을 많이 받은 경우

3. 습한 기온으로 인해 두피에 땀이 차서 피지 등이 모공을 막아 미생물이 증식한 경우

4. 스트레스나 불규칙한 생활 습관

머리 가려움 해결방법

1. 머리 감을 때 두피 마사지하기

2. 두피 관리 샴푸 사용 및 머리에 자극을 많이 주는 헤어제품이나 염색 삼가기

3. 헤어 영양 제품이 두피에 닿지 않게 하기

4. 머리 감을 때 손톱이 아닌 손끝으로 하는 건 기본!

5. 머리 감고 깨끗이 헹궈줘야 합니다! 

6. 드라이할 때 가급적 차가운 바람으로 머리 말리기

7. 저녁에 머리 감는 분들은 젖은 머리로 자지 않기! 미생물 증식의 최대 원인이라네요. 

8. 충분한 수면!

Couldn't find the Creator Studio Classic? Where is the stream key?? How to find your YouTube Live Stream Key?

109. The One Where Underdog Gets Away

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is confronting her boss, Terry.]

Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?

Terry: An advance?

Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.

Terry: Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart. You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.

Rachel: Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is approaching a customer.]

Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?

Guy: Huh?

Rachel: Ok, ok, that's fine. Fine. Hey, I'm sorry about that spill before. (picks up the tip he leaves) Only $98.50 to go.

(Monica enters.)

Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?

Ross: No, they're not.

Monica: Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them.

Ross: You're wrong.

Monica: I am not wrong.

Ross: You're wrong.

Monica: No, I just talked to them.

Ross: (getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom.

(Joey enters. His face looks abnormally colorful.)

Joey: Hey, hey.

Chandler: Hey.

Phoebe: Hey.

Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?

Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.

Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.

Phoebe: What were you modeling for?

Joey: You know those posters for the city free clinic?

Monica: Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?

Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy was really cute.

Chandler: Do you know which one you're gonna be?

Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)

Chandler: Good luck, man. I hope you get it.

Joey: Thanks.

(Ross comes back to the couch.)

Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.

Monica: Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.

Ross: Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?

Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?

Joey: Yeah.

Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.

Chandler: Yes, every single one of them.

Monica: Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?

Phoebe: Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar.

Monica: So you're free Thursday, then.

Phoebe: Yeah. Oh, can I come?

Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?

Rachel: Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go.

Chandler: I thought it was $98.50.

Rachel: Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup.

Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's.

Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?

Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.

[Scene: Carol and Susan's apartment, Susan is there. Ross enters.]

Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?

Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.

Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.

Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.

Susan: What's it look like?

Ross: Kinda like a big face without skin.

Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.

Ross: Ok. (browsing the apartment) Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.

Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.

Ross: (picking up a book) Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic.

Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.

Ross: The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy?

Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?

Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?

Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.

Ross: Do you uh, do you talk about me?

Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.

Ross: Really?

Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Rachel.]

Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.

Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.

Chandler: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.

(Rachel enters.)

Monica: Hey, Rach, did you make your money?

Rachel: No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop.

Monica: Rach, here's your mail.

Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.

Monica: (insistently) No, here's your mail.

Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.

Monica: (gives her an envelope) Would you just open it?

(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)

Rachel: Oh my god, oh, you guys are great.

Monica: We all chipped in.

Joey: (to Monica) We did?

Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.

Rachel: Thank you. Thank you so much!

Monica: (hands Chandler a bag) Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns.

Rachel: Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?

Chandler: All right, I'm nine years old.

Ross: Oh, I hate this story.

Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.

Rachel: Oh my god.

Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.

[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]

Joey: Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together.

Girl: We did?

Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?

Girl: Yeah, right.

Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.

Girl: Get out.

Joey: I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back.

Girl: Really? You don't know what that means to me.

Joey: Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing?

Girl: (provocatively) Nothing.

Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?

Girl: Yeah. (she gets up, notices something behind Joey) Oh.

Joey: What's wrong?

Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something.

Joey: Oh. What?

Girl: Um, leave.

Joey: Wait, wait, wait!

(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang.]

Joey: So I guess you all saw it.

Rachel: Saw what?

Phoebe: No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey enters, upset.]

Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.

Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]

Monica: Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. (notices Ross is depressed) What?

Ross: I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.

Monica: All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping.

Ross: That's closer.

(Rachel enters, excited.)

Rachel: I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop.

Chandler: Oh, you must stop shooping.

Rachel: Ok, I'm gonna get my stuff.

Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?

Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.

(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)

Phoebe: Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!

Chandler: Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.

(Chandler leaves.)

Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.

Monica: That's not a question.

Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.

Monica: All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.

Ross: Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child.

(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)

Monica: Ah!

Ross: Ok, Mom never hit.

(Ross exits.)

Phoebe: (stirring pot) Ok, all done.

Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!

Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.

Monica: Why would we do that?

Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.

Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.

Rachel: Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!

(Chandler enters, running.)

Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.

Joey: The balloon?

Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?

Rachel: I can't, I gotta go.

Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?

Phoebe: Almost never.

Monica: Got the keys? or Got the keys!

Rachel: Ok.

(Everyone leaves the apartment.)

[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]

Carol: Anytime you're ready.

Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...

Carol: Just aim for the bump.

Ross: Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this. Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid.

Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.

Ross: (quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]

Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.

Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.

Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?

Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.

Monica: No I don't.

Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."

Monica: No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"

Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".

Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?

Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.

Rachel: Oh, I gotta get my ticket!

Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.

Monica: Well then get it, get it!

Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.

Monica: (angry) Joey!

Joey: That one will.

(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)

[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]

Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.

Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.

Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?

(Susan enters.)

Susan: Hi, how's it goin?

Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?

Carol: I did.

Ross: Does it always, uh--?

Carol: No, no that was the first.

Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!

Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.

Susan: I felt it!

Ross: (singin) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts.

[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]

Joey: Nope, not that one.

Monica: Can you go any faster with that?

Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.

Monica: Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?

Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.

Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.

Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.

Rachel: No, I didn't. I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn't have the keys.

Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.

(Short pause.)

Monica: Why would I have the keys?

Rachel: Aside from the fact that you said you had them?

Monica: But I didn't.

Rachel: Well, you should have.

Monica: Why?

Rachel: Because!

Monica: Why?

Rachel: Because!

Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...

Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.

(They walk in. Smoke fills the apartment.)

Monica: Well, the turkey's burnt. (checking pots) Potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined.

(Ross enters, singing.)

Ross: Here we come, walkin' down the—this doesn't smell like Mom's.

Monica: No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.

Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.

Joey: Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice.

Monica: Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?

Joey: You call that delicious?

(all shouting)

Monica: Stop it, stop it, stop it!

Chandler: Now this feels like Thanksgiving.

[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]

Phoebe: Ooh.

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.

(They all run to the window.)

Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!

Monica: Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing!

Phoebe: It's nice that he has someone.

[Time lapse. The gang is around the table, eating grilled cheese sandwiches.]

Chandler: Shall I carve?

Rachel: By all means.

Chandler: Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?

Ross: I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese.

Monica: (holding sandwich) Does anybody wanna split this with me?

Joey: Oh, I will.

Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.

Monica: Make a wish?

Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?

Joey: The bigger half.

Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.

All: That's so sweet.

Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.

Rachel: And a crappy New Year.

Chandler: Here, here!

Closing Credits

[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:

Bladder Control Problem
Stop Wife Beating
Hemorrhoids?
Winner of 3 Tony Awards...

He's finally happy with that and walks away.]

End

108. The One Where Nana Dies Twice

[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break.   Shelley enters.)

Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?

Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?

Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.

Chandler: Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...

Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday?

Chandler: Yes please.

Shelley: Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's-

Chandler: He's a he?

Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...

Opening Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)

Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?

Rachel: Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be...

Chandler: You did?

Rachel: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.

Chandler: Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?

Monica: I did.

Phoebe: Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Joey: Not me.

Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.

Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?

Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...

(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)

Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?

Phoebe: I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny...

Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?

All: Yeah! Right!

Chandler: WHAT IS IT?!

Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.

All: Yes. Absolutely. A quality.

Chandler: Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.

(Phone rings; Monica gets it)

Monica: Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome.

Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.

Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.

Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.

Monica: Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana.

[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)

Ross: So, uh, how's she doing?

Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.

Monica: How-how are you, Mom?

Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?

Monica: What?

Mrs. Geller: What's different?

Monica: Nothing.

Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.

(Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.)

Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...

Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.

Monica: Oh God!

(They hug.)

[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]

Monica: The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse.

Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.

Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.

(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)

Nurse: Mrs. Geller?

(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.)

Ross: She looks so small.

Monica: I know.

Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now.

Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)

Ross: Bye, Nana.

(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)

Monica: Ross!

(Ross runs out too.)

Mrs. Geller: What is going on?!

Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..

Mrs. Geller: What?

Ross: She's not- past, she's present, she's back.

Aunt Lillian: (reentering) What's going on?

Mr. Geller: She may have died.

Aunt Lillian: She may have died?

Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.

(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)

Ross: I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in)

Nurse: This almost never happens!

(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)

Ross: Now she's passed.

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.]

Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?

Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.

Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.

(Monica and Ross enter.)

Rachel: So, um, did she...

Ross: Twice.

Joey: Twice?

Phoebe: Oh, that sucks!

Joey: You guys okay?

Ross: I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh...

Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.

Ross: Nono, she's gone.

Monica: We checked. A lot.

Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.

Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil)

Phoebe: Thanks!

Rachel: Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.

Joey: Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?

Phoebe: Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. (Hands back the pencil)

[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]

Ross: I thought it was gonna be a closed casket.

Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!

(They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers)

Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?

Ross: (sarcastic) I don't see why not.

(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)

Ross: Here's my retainer!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]

Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-

Monica: Dad!

Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.

Monica: You what?

Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun.

Monica: Define fun.

Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...

Monica: ...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun.

Mr. Geller: Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.

Monica: That's probably what they'll say.

Mr. Geller: I'd like that.

[Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.]

Chandler: Hey, gorgeous.

Shelley: (sheepish) Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um-

Chandler: No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake.

Shelley: Oh! Okay! Phew!

Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me?

Shelley: I dunno, uh... you just have a-a...

Chandler: ...Quality, right, great.

Shelley: Y'know, it's a shame, because you and Lowell would've made a great couple.

Chandler: Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with?

Shelley: What? He's cute!

Chandler: Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll.

Shelley: Is Brian...?

Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.

Shelley: Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league.

Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.

[Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.]

Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?

Aunt Lillian: No.

Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.

Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.

Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.

Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)

Aunt Lillian: Wait! We need shoes!

(Ross falls back inside)

Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)

Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe.

Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?

Aunt Lillian: Could we see something in a slimmer heel?

Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.

Aunt Lillian: No, it really should be burgundy.

Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?

Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back.

(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)

Ross: Oh my God..

Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?

Ross: Yeah, just... just Nana stuff.

(He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. Sweet 'n' Lo's rain down on him)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]

Ross: (entering) How we doing, you guys ready?

Monica: Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?

Ross: Some days it's all I can think about.

Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings.

Rachel: Oh, you-you mean your earrings?

Phoebe: What'd I say?

Rachel: (sticking her foot out) Hm-m.

Monica: Are these the shoes?

Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.

Ross: What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...?

Joey: (entering with Chandler) Morning. We ready to go?

Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?

(They all leave.)

[Scene: The cemetary, after the funeral.]

Monica: It was a really beautiful service.

Mrs. Geller: It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream.

(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)

Joey: What?

Chandler: Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger.

Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)

Chandler: You're watching a football game at a funeral?

Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.

Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.

(Rachel steps in a patch of mud)

Rachel: Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!

Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.

Phoebe: God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!

Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)

All: God! Ross!

Ross: I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised...

[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]

Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.

Ross: What, what is it?

Phoebe: You missed a belt loop.

Ross: Oh! No-n-

Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm.

Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)

(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)

Chandler: Oh, no-

Andrea: Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter.

Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.

(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)

Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?

Ross: I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great.

Monica: Wow, those pills really worked, huh?

Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)

Phoebe: Ooh! That's so nice...

Ross: ...Chandler!

Chandler: Hey.

Ross: (hugs him) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me.

Andrea: (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.)

Ross: Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most.

Rachel: (humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?

Ross: No.

Rachel: You!

Ross: Oh.. you don't get it! (Passes out and slumps across her)

(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)

Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there?

Joey: (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability.

Mr. Geller: What's the score?

Joey: Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third.

Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)

(Time lapse. A large crowd of men are now watching the game)

Rachel: (still trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker?

Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.

Monica: Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all.

Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.

Monica: That sounds like Nana.

Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?

Monica: ...I can imagine.

Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.

Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?

Mrs. Geller: Tell her what?

Monica: How she drove you crazy, picking on every little detail, like your hair... for example.

Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.

Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?

Mrs. Geller: ...No. I think some things are better left unsaid. I think it's nicer when people just get along.

Monica: Huh.

Mrs. Geller: More wine, dear?

Monica: Oh, I think so.

Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.

Monica: Thank you. They're yours.

Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's.

(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)

Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.

[Scene: Central Perk, the gang are looking at old photos.]

Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?

Ross: That little naked guy would be me.

Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.

Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?

Chandler: Who are those people?

Ross: Got me.

Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.

Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?

Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?

Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)

Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!

Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.

Closing Credits

[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]

Chandler: Hey, Lowell.

Lowell: Hey, Chandler.

Chandler: So how's it going there in Financial Services?

Lowell: It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you?

Chandler: Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not.

Lowell: I know. That's what I told her.

Chandler: Really.

Lowell: Yeah.

Chandler: So- you can tell?

Lowell: Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar.

Chandler: So you don't think I have a, a quality?

Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.

Chandler: He is?

Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)

Chandler: Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.

End

105. The One With the East German Laundry Detergent

[Scene: Central Perk, all six are there.]

Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.

Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?

Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up.

Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.

Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.

Phoebe: Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care.

(Long pause.)

Ross: Multiple orgasms!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, all are there.]

Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!

Joey: No plans, huh?

Chandler: Not a one.

Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?

Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.

Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.

Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.

Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.

Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.

Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.

Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.

Ross: Tony?

Monica: Oh, you're breaking up with Tony?

Phoebe: Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know.

Rachel: (waitressing) Does anybody want anything else?

Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.

Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?

Rachel: It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.

Ross: That guy, he burns me up.

Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.

Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.

Monica: Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing again?

Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own".

Phoebe: (rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh.

(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)

Angela: Hi, Joey.

Joey: My god, Angela.

(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)

Monica: Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.

Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?

Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.

Angela: (casually) Joey.

Joey: You look good.

Angela: That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs.

Joey: You don't say.

(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)

Ross: So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight?

Rachel: Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.

Ross: Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too?

Rachel: Who?

Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?

Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?

Ross: Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?

Rachel: Sure.

(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)

Angela: Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now.

Joey: Bob? Who the hell's Bob?

Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...

Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.

Angela: Yeah, well, sorry, Joe. You said let's just be friends, so guess what?

Joey: What?

Angela: We're just friends.

Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?

Angela: What four of us?

Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]

Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.

Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.

Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...

Monica: (looking out window) Oh, god help us.

Joey: What?

Monica: Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww!

Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.

Monica: What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.

Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?

[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]

Ross: (on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel.

Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?

Ross: It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.

Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.

Ross: Nuh-uh.

Chandler: Yuh-huh.

Ross: So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what?

Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwear—you want it to be dirty?

Ross: (sheepish) No.

Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?

Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.

Chandler: There you go.

[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]

Monica: Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?

Joey: Yep.

Monica: Which?

Joey: Which what?

Monica: You've never met Bob, have you?

Joey: No, but he's...

Monica: Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly...

(Angela and Bob walk in. Bob is good-looking.)

Angela: Hey, Joey.

Monica: ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]

Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?

Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.

Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.

Phoebe: Eww, I don't wanna do that.

(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)

Chandler: Here we go.

Phoebe: Ok, have a good break-up.

Chandler: Hey, Janice.

Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.

Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?

Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...

(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)

Chandler: What?

Janice: What?

Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?

Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)

Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.

Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.

Chandler: That's great.

(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)

Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?

Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.

(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)

Chandler: That's it?

Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard.

Chandler: Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.

Phoebe: Ok, you weren't there.

[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]

Woman: Comin' through. Move, move.

Rachel: Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine.

Woman: Yeah, well, now you're kinda not.

Rachel: But I saved it. I put my basket on top.

Woman: Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds.

Rachel: What?

Woman: No suds, no save. Ok?

(Ross arrives.)

Ross: What's goin' on?

Rachel: Hi, uh, nothing. That horrible woman just took my machine.

Ross: Was your basket on top?

Rachel: Yeah, but, there were no suds.

Ross: So?

Rachel: Well, you know, no suds, no save.

Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.

Woman: Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it.

Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.

(The woman and Ross stare at each other. Finally she takes her stuff out of the machine and leaves.)

Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.

Rachel: That was amazing. I can't even send back soup.

Ross: Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent.

(Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.)

Rachel: What's that?

Ross: Uberveiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough.

(Rachel starts to load her clothes.)

Ross: Rach, do you uh, are you gonna separate those?

Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?

Ross: Rach, have you never done this before?

Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.

Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.

Rachel: (holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates?

Ross: (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.

[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]

Monica: (to Joey) He is so cute. (to Angela and Bob) So, where did you guys grow up?

Angela: Brooklyn Heights.

Bob: Cleveland.

Monica: How, how did that happen?

Joey: Oh my god.

Monica: What?

Joey: I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Joey and Bob are talking.]

Joey: So, you and Angela, huh?

Bob: Yep. Pretty much.

Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.

Bob: Huh, I never really noticed.

Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.

Bob: Monica, Monica is great.

Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.

[Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.]

Monica: I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.

Angela: Yeah, isn't he?

Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.

Angela: You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed.

Monica: Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity.

Angela: Huh. That's nice.

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]

Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.

(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)

Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.

Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.

[Scene: The laundromat.]

Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.

Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.

Rachel: What uh-oh?

Ross: (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Rachel: Ross, what's the matter?

Ross: Nothing, nothing. Lee-lo, the laundry's done.

Rachel: Come on, show me.

Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.

Rachel: Oh, everything's pink.

Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.

Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!

(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)

[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]

Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?

(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)

Monica: Oh my god.

Joey: What?

Monica: Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.

Joey: Come on, they're close.

Monica: Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.

Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.

Monica: Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it's—not really true, is it?

Joey: Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...

Monica: Oh my god, what were you thinking?

Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.

Monica: (hits him lightly) Oh!

Joey: Ow!

Monica: (leaving) I'm outta here.

Joey: Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you.

Monica: Really?

Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.

[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.]

Monica: I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story.

(Angela is eating chicken wings and making the weasel-like noise Joey had told Bob about.)

Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]

Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.

Janice: Ow!

Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?

Janice: Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back.

(She leaves.)

Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.

Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?

Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?

Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.

Chandler: I'm fine.

Phoebe: All right.

(Janice returns from the bathroom.)

Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.

Phoebe: Wait here. Breathe.

(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)

Chandler: How do you do that?

Phoebe: It's like a gift.

Chandler: We should always always break up together.

Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.

[Scene: The Launderama. Rachel is sorting her now-pink clothes.]

Ross: You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part.

Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.

(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)

Rachel: Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.

Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.

(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)

Rachel: I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart.

Woman: Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it.

Rachel: Hey, hey, hey, hey, quit making up rules!

Woman: Let go!

(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)

Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!

(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)

Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?

Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.

Rachel: I could not have done this without you.

(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)

Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.

Rachel: Are you sure?

Ross: No.

Closing Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]

Rachel: Oh, are you sure you're ok?

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: Does it still hurt?

Ross: Yeah.

Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.

(Monica and Joey enter.)

Monica: Hi.

Phoebe: Hey, how'd it go?

Joey: Excellent.

Monica: We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves.

Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.

Monica: (notices his head) Oh, I'm sorry.

Rachel: Where's Chandler?

Phoebe: Oh, he needed some time to grieve.

(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)

Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!

Phoebe: That oughta do it.

End

환절기 감기로 고생하시는 분들이 참 많은데요. 요즘 감기는 더욱 심해져서 안정과 좋은 음식을 통해서 면역체계를 증강시켜야 합니다. 감기에 좋은 음식들을 참고 하시고 건강한 생활 하시길 바래요!

""

감기에 걸렸을 때 좋은 음식

1. 생과일 음료

감기에 걸렸을 때는 물을 많이 마셔야 하는데 수분과 함께 건강한 영양소를 함유한 생과일 음료를 마시면 효과를 볼 수 있습니다. 오렌지 쥬스나 포도 쥬스는 어지럼증이 있을 때 마시면 영양분과 칼로리를 섭취할 수 있고, 코가 막히면 레몬이나 애플사이다 식초가 들어있는 음료가 도움이 됩니다. 

2. 달걀 요리를 통한 단백질 섭취

몸이 아플 때는 단백질 섭취를 통해 근력을 기르는 것이 중요한데 달걀이나 플레인 요거트 등을 통해 복잡하게 요리하지 않고 간단한 조리를 통해서 단백질 섭취를 할 수 있습니다. 

3. 플라보노이드

감귤류 (오렌지, 레몬, 라임 등)에 있는 하얀색 껍질에 있는 플라보노이드라는 영양분은 면역 시스템을 증강시켜줍니다. 

4. 따뜻한 죽

소고기 죽이나 야채 죽을 추천합니다. 따뜻한 죽은 소화를 돕고 체온을 유지시켜 주며, 비강을 개방시켜 줍니다. 

5. 비타민 B6, B12 함유된 음식

비타민 B6, B12는 치료 영양분입니다. 우유나 두유, 감자, 시리얼 등에 포함되어 있으니 꾸준히 먹어주면 좋습니다. 

6. 요거트의 프로바이오틴

요거트의 프로바이오틴은 감기 치료일을 단축시킵니다. 

7. 차 종류

유자차, 생강대추차, 모과차, 흰 파뿌리와 생강을 함께 달인 차, 감잎차, 매실차, 계피차, 인삼차